Saturday, September 2, 2017

The last word on existence

I am just the voice
My body left earlier
Over time I discarded the parts
They were starting to malfunction anyway

My mind was overloading
So I shut that down too
Sometimes I would try to find the pathways to use it again
But it evaded all attempts to be found

Then I was
As I am now
Just the voice
Sound waves in the ethos

With the lack of the mind
What cannot be processed
Can never be wrong

I am spoken but not remembered
Living only ever in the moment
Shouted  at times
Caught silent in the wind
in those moments between

I do get noticed
Then people turn my way
And look right through me
Noticed no more

I am the words
They thought they heard
But when they look
Even of that
they are no longer sure

It makes them wonder if there was anyone there in the first place
Putting down the voice to just a figment of their imagination
And that moment when everyone stops listening

I am the voice

No more.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

New Dark Age: Auckland

I see fat white men planning assaults over the Korean peninsula
While I walk the harbour breathing in the salt air
I read of a woman whose voice is shut down
while a tax defrauder runs the country
In a graveyard off Karangahape
a homeless man smiles
at the sun
he says
‘I have the best real estate’
until the night comes
a text
an argument over who has done the cleaning
another reminds me my accounts overdrawn
I pass by tree studded roads down to the park
past icons of buildings past
internally I scream
no fat white men in suits rule me
no politics tears me
no pointless arguments pursue me  
as I scroll my feed
I question
is this the new dark age?
then why does everything seem
so grey
except in front
a tree blossoms
early spring explosion
reminding me 
to turn my phone off

and appreciate it.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Child's Play

The word I won’t say lest it scare her off
That sits at the top of my tongue waiting to slide down and out
And when it does the playground will be open to me
Or not.

The word I won’t say because it scares me to say it
To let myself go and leave myself open
To what she says in return
What If the seesaw drops and she is not there on the other end

Other words come easy
I will climb up and over them
Roll with them on the grass
Shout them from the top of the castle
But they are not what I feel
I yearn to
not always play alone in the sandpit
I want to take walks to the point and further
To grow up just enough to
At some time stop acting like a child
Gain the courage to say

I love you

But only in some moments
The rest I just want to play on the swings.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

I want nothing from you world.

I want nothing from you world.

No sour grapes sold before their time.
No old avocados brown when opened.
No irate tellers who are there to give me my money at the bank.
I don’t want sad service in a restaurant,
Or overly happy people selling me insurance I know I don’t need.
The sun that shines to hard.
The winter chill that makes me not want to get up.
What you gave me,
Equally, you take away.
Why is everything an example to me of that which I am going to lose

I want nothing from you world

Are women so different than men that they can say, you’ve got me now you don’t?
Why should we gamble when the odds mean we are going to lose?
Does every morning have a forecast for rain?
Because if it did, that’s what we would expect.
Then when the sun came out, it would be a surprise.
But how many of those can we expect to get,
In a river that flows downstream,
In a tide that always seems to be out.

I want nothing from you world because,
when I get a surprise,
I want it to be. 


Sunday, February 26, 2017

Western Park.

It’s a deafening roar the cicadas shuffle, echoing out across Western Park..
Here in nature's morning, I expected silence, away from the cities drone.
What I got was Gaia shouting louder than cars.
 A ball of fluff rides the breeze across in front of me unidentified in its origin,
 maybe a dogs shedding coat, possibly a duvet inner or violence ripped jacket.
 Artificial or not it seems to belong,
 while it still dances just for me.
 But then it settles beside cigarette butts, pie wrappers, and empties.
 The breeze drops letting the acrid smell of urine permeate upwards.
 At this moment the cicadas are alone in claiming back this patch of nature,
 from drunks spoiling exercises the night before.
 Raising the question, Whose park is it anyway?
 Who is  to say that another’s freedom through the dark hours is the use it was
Then the breeze returns, and on it floats away my dancing fluffball.

 Shards of light break through,
 looking all biblical,
 a church shop faded Jesus scene in broken frame,
 The atheist in me laughs that it is him who notices.
 I lay back now looking up at the trees,
 Embracing green mottle jades replacing dancing distortions,
 My glazed eyes little by little seeing clear.
 Reborn I breathe in nature’s fresh desire swimming in each lungful,
and then I expel,
move on and off the seat,
back home and towards other worlds.
Perhaps by night, I may come back for a ciggy and a beer.

                                                                                Kirk Lafferty Feb 2017